The story I’m going to share here comes from time spent with Con, when he was little. He’s non-verbal and part of the autistic community – an autiste, as Alan Gardener puts it. This is a moment of revelation, more about God than either Con or myself.
I am sitting on the floor of a blue-carpeted room, devoid of furniture, with aching muscles from trying to restrain a three-year-old boy. There’s faeces on the wall, and banana. The banana will be harder to remove.
“for the enemy as a roaring lion walks about…”
I’m beginning Compline for the seventh time this afternoon. The singing soothes him and it helps me not to tighten my grip. I’m sat with my legs crossed over his, my arms wrapped right round his little body. I’m wondering whether my eye is bruised or just sore and I wonder whether this is what it’s like for God to try to love us.
Finally, he falls asleep… blessed.